Corporate Lessons

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It was 9pm in my wrist watch and I decided to escape from office. 9 was the earliest out time for me in almost a month. My Boss had left giving me my “End of Day” tasks at 7pm. But my mind was only thinking of the escape strategies as I was going to meet a close friend. My month-long dedication was like my armor for the music I was going to face the next day. I carefully walked towards the staircase and avoided using the lift to go to basement parking. I messaged my team-mates from the parking apologizing for escaping the Sazaa-E-Kaalapani without intimating them. Both replied that they had already left for the day which wiped the fraction of guilty feeling in my mind for not completing the work on time. It also made me realize that there is no need to inform my team-mates the next time I escape. A corporate lesson learnt.

I was still thinking of the technical problems I was facing in the code on my drive to her Hotel. I met her and then we went to Malaka-Spice in Koregoan Park. The place had a very nice ambience and served authentic South-Asian food. Every thing about the place was nice except for the couple sitting behind me who were arguing continuously.

We were chatting of our good old school days when the waiter introduced and started marketing their Hotel’s portrait artist. The waiter displayed some of the artist’s drawings and said it will take only 10 minutes for the portrait. I almost thought that she was going to have her portrait drawn after observing the interest with which she was listening to him. But thankfully she politely denied it. I really didn’t want to sit and watch Mr. Leonardo sketching Kate for 10 whole minutes which I was sure would stretch to 10 more.

The discussion of the couple had now turned into a heated argument. Like a typical Punekar I too turned to have a look at them. The guy had his back facing towards me but I could feel his embarrassment as almost everyone including the waiters were watching his wife or girlfriend or whoever she was hollering on him. We continued our chat when suddenly a “SPLASH”!! The female emptied his beer glass on his face and stormed out of the hotel. Not a single murmur in the restaurant. After about 2 minutes he stood up wiping his face. I rotated my neck again by 90 degrees. He simply kept the amount of his bill without waiting for the waiter to get it for him. He gathered all his guts to face everyone to walk out of the hotel. He turned for the entrance and to my shock, the person was MY BOSS.

For a second even I sympathized with the person whom I hated the most. He was looking pathetic in this awkward state. I felt like laughing out loud on this momentary discomfiture of my boss, but just responded by my eyes as not to worry and it will be a secret. He left the restaurant. I was thinking whether my boss was more worried on the shameful incident or repenting that he had to pay for the beer without even getting a sip to drink.

Our discussions changed from school days to the tough corporate life, the different kinds of people at workplace, the challenges we face and then finally we concluded that our simple school life where we were contented with just a Vada Pav treat was much better than the complex corporate life.

I didn’t quite realize how quickly 2 hours of serious, philosophical, sentimental, humorous and pointless discussions were over. We drove back to her hotel. A final adios and I started my car engine. I realized that the last 2 hours were probably the only moments in my last month when my brain was completely stress-free. I had forgotten about my work and even about “THE SPLASH”!!

As I was driving back to my home I was thinking of messaging my team mates of the incident but for some unknown reason didn’t feel like doing so. I guess it must have been the hangover of some memorable moments that I was thinking of.
Radiomirchi played the latest number of Strings “Yeh akhri alvida naa hoo!!”. Ughhh!! I hated the timing of the song. I would have even preferred a Himesh number. I switched off the Radio. I reached home and my parents were “surprised” to see me at home by 1 am and my mom even sarcastically said, “So early”.

Like any other night I was thinking on how I spent my day and of all the nice moments. A wonderful smile kept on coming in front of my closed eyes. I was in a state when you realize that the dream is about to begin and don’t quite understand as to in which world you are living.

After about 15 minutes my A.R. Rehman composed ring tone started ringing. I was asleep. I must have missed the first 10 seconds of the ring tone. I thought it must be my dream. The next 5 seconds left me confused whether the mobile is ringing in my real or unreal world. Then I finally understood it was ringing in my real world. I wondered as to who must be calling at about 2 am. The doggy icon on my mobile surprised me. It was my boss.

“Sirjee!! I hope you have not uttered about the incident to anyone”, the trembling voice said. We often call each other by the word “Sirjee”, but this time he really meant it. “Have faith on me,Sir. I wont”. “I can do anything for you, but please don’t even utter about it. I hope you understand. I know it might just be a gossip topic for all of you, but it will spread like wild fire. Just once think about me, my career. I am a married guy. Our company has lots of females. Tomorrow the grapevine will speak only about me. Please yaar…” .

“Ok sir..Ok..now sleep. Don’t worry. I won’t. It’s a promise”. I had to cut his boring speech which was trying to gain some sympathy. I was just about to sleep when my mobile again flashed the doggy icon. I felt like switching it off, but still picked it up as after all he was my Boss. Without a “Hello” he started saying “I can do anything for you, but for God sake don’t tell it to anyone”. I had already decided not to tell about it to anyone. More than sympathizing for him I was aware of the fact that the news will spread within minutes in the entire company and the boss will know about its source. Suddenly the words “I can do anything for you” taught me another corporate lesson and made me say this in impulse. “Ok Sir. I promise I wont. Just keep in your mind that the appraisals are next week”. Before I thought of disconnecting the line ,he had already completed the honors.

The boring appraisal process commenced after a week and went on for about 3 weeks. Expectedly I got the topmost rating in my project. However the taste of success was a bit bitter. I called Anmol to tell him about my success and confessed to him that something somewhere is pinching me. I told him that I am not psychologically satisfied with the way things turned out to be.

In typical Anmol-style he replied. “Think of this scenario Kiran. The infamous beer incident never takes place or you are not present when it took place. Now the guys who have never actually worked for the project, who have shown just 10% dedication for the project, the guys who have given just 5% efforts compared to you, these guys will take 99% credit for the 1% work they have done and will score a better rating in appraisal than you. It will leave you in a more frustrated phase. You deserved this rating. Its not as if you were not dedicated for your work or you are being rewarded for something which you didn’t deserve. Its probably the way God wants it to happen. Don’t think about the reason rather feel happy that finally your efforts for the project are being counted upon.” With this magical speech, using baseless statistics and the keywords like “God” he was successful in convincing me once again. One more time I was brainwashed by Anmol.

The next day as I was busy coding my boss comes and keeps his hands on my shoulders and says, “Kyun Sirjee, Happy!! Now forget your home, your personal life for the next 1 month. The company is going to be your home.”

One more corporate lesson learnt.

(Story also posted on http://kiranpv.wordpress.com

Permanent link of the story- http://kiranpv.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/an-imaginary-story/)

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Filed under Fiction, Humor, Kiran

Tags: beer, boss, corporate politics, sadistic pleasures, stress